Permission to be Here

A few years ago, I moved to a new city.

I transferred into my new city's Junior League with a little trepidation. You know what they say about the Junior Leagues in Big Southern Cities. As soon as I attended my first meeting, however, I realized I was home. The League President, Mary, a lovely, friendly lady who has since tragically passed on, made me feel welcome right away. Then, she made an announcement that will stick with me forever: "Give yourself permission to be here."

Now, anyone who knows anything about Southern Ladies knows that we have ways of getting our point across without resorting to harsh words. Mary was, of course, asking us to be fully in attendance. She was also providing the gentlest of reminders that it is horribly bad manners to check one's BlackBerry during a meeting.  She began every meeting for the remainder of the League Year with the same words, and they provided so much comfort to me.

Give Yourself Permission To Be Here. Think about it.

How often do we really do that? How often do we fully enjoy a meal, a conversation, a moment of relaxation, or even a rewarding work task without obsessing about something else? How often do we allow the moment to be enough?

I don't want to go into a lot of detail, but it's been a terribly stressful year at my house. We've been dealing with a lot of big issues, things that are stressful and exhausting and, to some extent, out of our immediate control. I've cried and I've worried and I've prayed, and I've realized that I just need to take some time every few days to heed the advice of my friend Mary. I need to give myself permission to be here. I hate to get all greeting-card-touchy-feely-pop-psychiatry and all those other things I generally mock, but the truth is that we're only guaranteed this moment. Sometimes we have to give ourselves permission to live in it.